Feeling like a failure?

Good afternoon DWDI Readers!

     Well, I am at the library trying to motivate myself to do more studying for my professional licensing exam.  For those of you who are just tuning in to DWDI, this a re-take of the exam.  It was rough taking it the first time because of the fibromyalgia pain and fatigue, which gets worse from stress and also affects my sleep (it was bad in graduate school but it was way worse while studying for this exam).  When I found out I failed, I was crushed, especially since I felt that the Holy Spirit had assured me I passed right after I finished.  I had failed a few tests before (rarely), but nothing as important as this test! I was in shock and just so hurt.  It just felt like my life has been on hold since I cannot find a job in my career field without passing this exam.  I felt stupid, alone, and like a complete failure (and still struggle to hold back those negative thoughts).  And, I had to go through it AGAIN during a month that has had some terrible significance for me due to traumatic situations and losses.  Man, I was just upset for a few days!  I did not even go to my internship the next day so I could have the weekend to heal.

     Thankfully, I am doing some better physically.  I still have that burning sensation and some back pain but my sleep schedule is starting to reset itself.  Mentally, well that is a work in progress.  I started out with tons of drive to study, but it has wained as of late due to apathy and recurring thoughts of my past failure.  Before I left my house to go to the library,  something fell from the top shelf of my closet.  When I opened my closet door, I found that it was the book my mother gave me some years back called "God's Little Lessons for Graduates."  I started reading it in the library and it is so applicable to how I've been feeling as of late.  There are a few pages on failure with some applicable Bible verses, which are quoted below.

• I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses.  Then Christ's power can live in me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NCV
• Our High Priest is not one who cannot feel sympathy for our weaknesses...Let us have confidence, then, and approach God's throne, where there is grace.  There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it.  Hebrews 4:15-16 TEV
• If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself.  2 Timothy 2: 13 KJV
• Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success.  Proverbs 15:22 NLT

     WOW! God does not run on our time, but he is ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME!  I needed to hear these scriptures today.  It is so true that only when we are meek and humble, when we are down to our last ounce, that God does His best work with us! I am trying to spend more time in the Word and more time blogging (both of which are great and very theraputic), but it is not without a cost.  Honestly, I am exhausted and woefully underprepared as of now, but all I can do is go on faith and allow God to carry me through this exam and to the next chapters of my life so He receives the glory.  Has anyone been in or is currently in a similar situation? You can feel free to contact me using one of the forms of communication on my contact page or post it on here and we can pray for each other.

Enjoy the rest of your day everyone while I try to knock out some practice questions :-)

Love, 

CCC