The importance of giving things up to God

Hi DWDI Readers!


   As previously mentioned, I have a medical condition that cause me extreme fatigue, but I just realized I never told you what it was.  Whoops! I apologize.  While in graduate school, I had some rather unfortunate things happen and the stress caused me to develop a condition called fibromyalgia.  I know there are some commercials out there for prescription drugs, particularly Lyrica, to deal with the symptoms, but many people still do not know what it is so here's a summary based on my symptoms.  


     Fibromyalgia is a condition where my nerves are on hyperdrive all of the time and are extremely sensitive to pain.  I tend to have lower back pain and pain in my joints, particularly when it is cold outside which makes the fibromyalgia worse.  The increased pain causes my body to become fatigued more easily so activities that I used to do like high-impact aerobics are a no-no (I found this out the hard way. I went to a class and later became so fatigued I could barely move, let alone walk up a steep hill to my apartment in graduate school.  My friends had to help me walk home that day).  I also have an almost burning sensation in my upper back and shoulders area when I am super stressed like I am now for my professional licensing exam re-take and sometimes even wearing certain types of fabrics causes me discomfort during stressful times like this.  I also get what is called "fibro fog" where I have difficulty concentrating some times.  It's pretty awful.  I feel totally disoriented during "fibro fog" and it makes me wonder if that is how people with Alzheimer's feel.  I am on another popular prescription, Cymbalta, to reduce my pain.  Unfortnately, nothing makes the pain completely go away, but sleep (which is hard to do because fibromyalgia usually causes non-restorative/non-restful sleep), a healthy diet, and exercise can help manage my symptoms.


    I honestly believe that Jesus will heal me of these symptoms one day and I just have to wait on him.  Until then, I just deal with them as best as I can.  This exam has slowly caused me to give up exercise and I'm an emotional/stress eater so my diet has not been the best.  And trying to do work (which has not been enough lately) has caused me to mess up my sleep schedule.  I feel some better since I slept a few hours just now and will go back to sleep shortly.  The stress of the exam has just made my body flip out which is making studying difficult.  This is what happened the last time I took the exam as well.  It is so frustrating when it seems that I have so many stumbling blocks to overcome just to try to have a normal life and what I've been striving towards for so many years, but I realize that it's not my will but God's will that must be done.  Honestly, I don't know if I will pass this exam this time around, but I just feel at a loss and the only thing I can do is to rely on God completely and to give Him my burdens of self-doubt, feeling absolutely drained and underprepared, and "failure." I don't know what my future holds, but taking care of myself and my relationship with Him has to become a greater priority, moreso than any test.  


   Good night everyone and let's all have a great week!