Online Dating, Part 2: Am I being too picky?

Hello Hello DWDI Fam!


     Well, I am taking a study break from trying to remember a general idea about massive amounts of information (memorization is a loss at this point--I just need to narrow down wrong answers and remember what I can for other questions) and I figure I should continue the online dating series.


     Back to my online dating experiences.  One thing I have learned is that I am okay with some things and not okay with others AND THAT IS OKAY.  Why? Because people need to know their non-negotiables (the things they MUST have in a mate) and their negotiables (the things they would like but can live without in a mate) so they can be equally yolked in their relationships.  What I am looking for in a mate may be completely different from what you are looking for in a mate. With that said, people should have realistic expectations in what they want.  Attraction to certain physical characteristics is okay BUT when people rule out others who have many of the positive godly traits they desire in a mate because of physical appearance, well that is just RIDICULOUS (i.e., women who only date men who are at least 6'0" tall or men who only date blondes).  Similarly, my favoring dating guys who resemble basketball or baseball players or only dating men of my own race in my youth was just as ridiculous.  Want to know my list? Here it is:

• Non-negotiables:
• Must be Christian and must hold the same basic tenets of Christianity as me (that should be a given at this point ;-) ) It also includes:
• Having a heart for helping the poor and not condemning others for their misfortunes- that is a SERIOUS pet peeve of mine;
• Being pro-life; 
• Being pro-celibacy; and
• Being a serious prayer and Bible reader-He needs to be on his A-game if he wants to be the head of my household and the intermediary between God and my family;
• Educated with at least a B.A. (I need someone who values an education as much as me and my family);
• Must be looking for another protestant Christian-seeing guys pick every Christian choice, Jewish, "Spiritual but not religious," Agnostic, etc., is annoying and a RED FLAG that he is not spiritually ready to be a head of household;
• Local- I am DONE doing long-distance;
• Not shorter than me and not super skinny.  I am not that tall and I need someone who is at least my height but preferably taller.  I am not a small girl so I want to feel like I am not going to break a guy when I hug him.  I have tried dating guys who do not fit this and I prefer to have someone who's bigger and stronger than me so I feel protected;
• Sanitary and/or hygenic-You would be surprised at people's standards for "cleanliness."  You'd better ask questions and OBSERVE);
• Understanding and caring;
• Great sense of humor;
• Has goals and is not complacent with his life;
• Able to communicate his feelings with me without yelling or being condescending;
• No kids-It is so much harder to date men with kids because I do not have the same time constraints; 
• Age- Either a maximum of 4 years younger than me or a maximum of 10 years older than me (any older and I would end up with someone as old as my parents, which is a SERIOUS NO-NO).  Plus, I need someone who can relate to me and my generation, but he is still mature;
• Wants to have kids, both biological children and adopted children;
• Does not expect us to do everything together- I need "me" time and "girls night outs";
• Wants to be healthy and is working towards that goal; and
• Does not play video games all of the time.
• NO PRETTY BOYS-the ones I have talked to are far too stuck on themselves.

• Negotiables:
• Race- I could care less as long as he meets my non-negotiables;
• Likes cats instead of dogs (I will tolerate a cat for love);
• Job- I do not care what he does as long as he is educated, has decent earning potential to support a family, and is following God's calling for his life;
• Political affiliation- As long as he meets my spiritual criteria, I could care less;
• Larger build-He can be a heavier guy and not muscular as long as he wants to be healthy.  I do not mind him having some "meat on his bones";
• Slim and athletic- Is totally fine with me as long as I do not look obese when I stand next to him and will not break a rib if I give him a big hug; and
• Student- If he is working on getting an education, that is fine by me.

So, my DWDI Fam, I encourage you to make a list of what you want and to pray about it with God.  Lists can and do change (mine has over the years) but the most important thing is to look for someone with the right qualities to be YOUR mate. 

    Well, back to reviewing I go.  Due to this exam, I will probably not have a new entry until this coming weekend, but I will be back! :-D Have a great evening and a great week!

Love, 

CCC


P.S. Prayers for my friend and me would be MUCH APPRECIATED.  Thanks in advance!