Online Dating, Part 4: Didn't see this coming.

Good afternoon D.W.D.I. Family!


     Hope everyone is having a happy and productive Friday! Okay, this post is a continuation of my misadventures in online dating.  What's with my title? Well, let me explain, dear family.


     Okay, so in case you didn't know,  I finally dropped that "someone wonderful" like a bad habit about a month ago.  I'm talking COLD TURKEY here folks! He had it coming though.  I'm not talking about out of spite, but just based on his actions.  A man cannot disappear on a girl for about a month then text her out of the blue and expect good things.  That's not how it works in dating! He is suppose to pursue me.  Not calling and not texting is not good.  Even worse, when I called him to tell him about how those things made me feel, he had the nerve to say "Well, you didn't call me either." What? Excuse me? I actually did call and text him for a couple of days but got no response. Plus, why get defensive unless you KNEW you were wrong.  He showed a lack of caring for my second examination failure and then said he was just in a bad mood because of work.  Blaming his relationship inadequacies on work didn't cut it anymore.  I told him I was sorry I ever called him and that maybe I would talk to him at some point.  That some point came the next day when I texted him and said it was over.  He should have really thought about things before being so disrespectful.  I am looking to be someone's Ruth or someone's Proverbs 31 Wife of Noble Character, not someone's distraction when he feels bored or lonely.  I was not a priority to him and he is definitely not a priority to me anymore.  


   In between that fiasco, I started seeing someone else.  He's a nice guy and a devout Christian.  He's educated and very kind.  He pursued me and made me feel special.  That's EXACTLY what I've been looking for this whole time! So, what's the problem? He has a crazy work schedule. UGH!  Again, what is it with me and men with crazy work hours?! He's been so busy we haven't seen each other.  Plus, I've been busy with studying and with other things going on (like not being able to go to the library like before because a family car broke down and it's been rough trying to get it fixed...If it's not one thing, it's another).  And, I figured that if he's no longer interested, he'd just stop contacting me.  It's a shame, but men do that nowadays whether you meet them online or not.  I'm sure women do that, too, because I've done it after something went HORRIBLY wrong (please see my previous dating posts for those disasters), but not when things seem to be going great, which is what I've experienced.  We've chatted about every week online and last night we both seem unsure of where things are or where they are going due to his work schedule and my situation.  


    Additionally, I have to admit that while I know I technically can see other people, I'm not really open to getting to know someone right now. This has totally taken me for a loop.  I guess I've realized that it's difficult for me to open up and share pieces of myself and my life with someone only to have that someone not fully appreciate me for doing so.  It does get harder to just dust yourself off and throw yourself back into another possible relationship, especially when guys I've met online just seem to have endless choices for women and have just stopped communicating with no warning.  I really don't meet men my own age at the gym or at other places like in the "old days" so I guess I may be just ready to bow out of the dating game for a while.  I guess I just feel like all of this has been a waste of time in many aspects but that's not true.  I've realized that I'm beautiful and worth pursuing.  The right man will pursue me because I have a good head on my shoulders and I love the Lord.  I know that God's timing is not mine so I need to wait on Him.  And, that as a child of God, I don't have to settle for just anyone.  God has only wonderful plans for me to prosper and He has no intent of causing me harm.  I have a right to be loved and respected by a man and the right man will receive that from me in return.  These things, along with going to the gym, have really boosted my confidence in myself but I still struggle with some insecurities of course. I'm still unemployed, living at home, and don't have a car.  Most men don't want to date women in my position because of those things.  It's a shame because everyone is in different stages in life due to their walks with God AND those things are just temporary.  Plus, a lot of men nowadays want a bunch of marriage perks without the marriage commitment.  This includes a lot of supposed Christian men unfortunately, which just makes the search for a husband harder.  And, I'll admit it, some times I do get lonely and just want support from a man through a hug, a handhold, or some kind words.  It's something I long for but I don't want those things from just anyone one.  Regardless, I think it's time for me to gracefully bow out of dating for a while until the timing is better.  When will that be? I honestly have no idea, but I'm glad that God knows. 


   Well, what do you all think? Are some of you in the same boat and feel differently? Feel free to let me know what you think, especially if you have some experience and insights from God that I've missed.  Take care, D.W.D.I. Family! We'll chat again soon!


Love,
CCC